The Very Beginning
by alb925
Summary: One-shot from Ron's perspective when he left Harry and Hermione during the Horcrux Hunt, goes to Shell Cottage, and then returns. What was going through his head? Can Bill help him to see how much Harry and Hermione need him?


_A/N: Just a little one shot I wrote. I was bored and I wanted to write something a little different. I know a lot of people really hate that Ron left, but I really thought it helped him mature and helped to develop his character. Anyway, I hope everyone likes it!_

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><p>Ron sat at the kitchen table of Shell Cottage, his forehead resting against the rough wood and his hands dangling down by his sides.<p>

"What's wrong with you?" Bill asked, coming into the kitchen and filling a glass with water. He leaned against the counter and looked at his brother over the top of his glass.

"I'm an idiot," Ron muttered.

"Caught on, have you?" Bill teased.

Ron finally looked up, only to glare at Bill. "It's not funny."

Bill sighed. "You got here twelve hours ago. Granted, it was ten at night and Fleur insisted we all sleep before we talked, but now I think it's high time we did. Talk, I mean." Bill pulled out a chair, spun it around and sat on it backwards, setting his glass on the table and folding his arms across the back of the chair. "Why did you come here?"

Ron sighed. "I left Harry and Hermione."

"Yeah, I figured, since they're not here," Bill answered, staring at Ron.

"It was that _thing_," Ron said. "Not that I'm trying to make excuses, because I'm not, but that thing-,"

"What thing?" Bill asked. "I don't really understand what you're getting at."

"Should I start at the beginning?" Ron asked. "And by that, I mean the very beginning?"

"Yeah, let's start with that," Bill said, nodding.

"Harry's always been my best friend. You know that, right? He's been my best friend ever since my first day at Hogwarts."

"Yeah," Bill said. "I'm aware."

"You know I would do anything for him, but sometimes…"

"Sometimes, what?" Bill prodded.

Ron sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "You're the oldest out of all of us. You're the one everyone looked up to. You're the cool one."

"Well, thanks, but where are you going with this? You're all over the place, Ron."

"I know. I'm just trying to get my thoughts together. They're all jumbled in my head."

"Okay," Bill said, staring at his brother, waiting for him to speak again.

"Charlie's the Quidditch hero. He's always been good at it. And now he gets to work with dragons. He has a really cool job. Percy's really smart, and maybe he doesn't always make good choices, but in school he got the best marks and he was a prefect and Head Boy. Fred and George are the outgoing, funny popular ones. Ginny was the first girl to be born in our family for generations and she seems to be all of us wrapped into one, so where does that leave me, Bill?"

"What do you mean where does that leave you?"

Ron plowed on. "One of my best friends is famous and everybody knows his name. My other best friend is a genius and a lot of people know who she is because she's so smart. Nobody knows who I am. All I am is Harry Potter's sidekick or one of the Weasley's little brother."

"Is that why you left?" Bill asked.

"Just wait," Ron said. He spoke slowly, trying to get out what he needed to say without giving away what Harry was doing. "Dumbledore asked Harry to do something. He has to look for stuff. It's the only way You-Know-Who can be killed. Anyway, these things we have to find…they're not pleasant."

"I would imagine," Bill agreed.

"We found one and Harry wanted to keep it close so it wouldn't get lost or stolen, so we took turns, but when I had it…it was different. It made me more miserable. It took every negative thought I ever had about Harry and intensified it. And then one night, last night actually, I was wearing it and Harry and Hermione had this breakthrough about what to do next and they were excited and talking a mile a minute. They forgot all about me and once again I was the stupid best friend. The one who can't do anything except play chess. It made me angry, but besides that, I really started thinking that I was going to lose Hermione."

"Lose Hermione?" Bill asked. "Was she ever really yours to begin with?"

"No," Ron said, half angrily, "but I like her."

Bill just looked back at him, waiting for him to go on.

"You aren't surprised?"

"Not really," Bill shrugged. "Anyway, you think she and Harry have something going on."

"I don't know. Maybe. But-,"

"Did you have the thing, whatever you found, with you?"

"Yeah," Ron nodded. "It made everything worse. I got really mad. I shouldn't have, but then when I left, Hermione wanted to stay with Harry and that made me madder. It would just be another thing Harry got. I can't even get the girl I want."

"So then what happened?" Bill prodded gently.

"I took _it_ off-,"

"Can we call it something specific?" Bill asked.

"No, I don't want to say too much. It's safer this way. Anyway, I took it off and left, and as soon as I did, I wanted to go back. All of those intensified horrible feelings just went back to stupid ones. But naturally, we were well hidden so I couldn't find the tent again. I was caught by Snatchers and escaped and then I came here. I just need to go back to them."

"So you're jealous of Harry," Bill said.

"Yeah, maybe I am, but never as much as I was when I was wearing that thing. I mean, everyone's been jealous at some point in their lives. Don't try to say you haven't, because you'd be lying."

"I'm not going to say I haven't been jealous," Bill said quickly, "because I have, but Harry's your best friend."

"I know that. I've already said he was, but just this once, I don't want him to have something that I want. I didn't want to be forgotten. I didn't want to be the third wheel."

"You know," Bill said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. "Harry doesn't have a family. You do. Did you ever think you may have something that he wants?"

Ron paused. "No," he said. He looked down at the table. "Maybe I do take having a large, loving family for granted, but you know I love all of you. I would do anything for any of you. In the tent, I was listening to the radio every night. Just so that I didn't hear anyone's name…"

"See, you have one thing that Harry doesn't have."

"I know," Ron said. "I may have rudely pointed that out to him. I don't know why I did it. It just poured out of my mouth. It was that bloody _thing_." He banged his forehead against the table and sighed, his eyes focusing on the wood again.

"You know, you're not a nobody, Ron," Bill said. "First of all, you're excellent at chess. Better than anybody I know. Secondly, you're brave, funny and a good friend. You've stuck with Harry for all these years. For the most part, you put aside those feelings of jealousy and you've helped him and been the friend that he needs. That has to count for something. And that thing, whatever it was, probably did blow everything out of proportion. I'm not trying to make excuses for you, because you did make mistakes, but we all have. And hey, you _feel_ things. Like a normal human being should. Like you said, we've _all_ felt jealousy before and it's ten times worse when you're jealous of someone you're close to."

"So you don't think I was an idiot?"

Bill paused. "Well it was stupid for you to have left, but I'm saying that it's not abnormal to feel jealousy towards people. This _thing_ you're talking about," he looked annoyed that he couldn't call it by a specific name, "seemed to have taken your jealousy and acted on it, bringing it to an unhealthy level."

"They're never going to forgive me," Ron said. "It was like the time when I was seven and got in trouble with mum so I tried to run away."

"You walked for two minutes before turning around and coming right back."

Ron actually laughed. "I acted like a seven year old last night, too."

"So, I think you know what you need to do, then."

"Stop acting like a seven year old," Ron said at once, "and grow up."

Bill reached over and clapped Ron on the shoulder. "See, you are smart."

Ron cracked a smile. "Thanks, Bill."

"Anytime."

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><p>Why had he agreed to do this? He had just pulled Harry out of the frozen pond, but that had been nothing compared to this. Harry had convinced him to stab the Horcrux and the outcome was more horrible than anything he had ever seen. Besides that, it was making him feel even worse than he had felt while wearing it and that scared him.<p>

He was frozen on the ground, staring up at the black cloud escaping from the locket. In the middle of the cloud, there was suddenly an image of Harry and Hermione. Ron didn't want to see it, but he couldn't look away.

And the voice. There was a voice coming out of the Horcrux. "Least loved by your mother who craved a daughter. Least loved by the girl who prefers your friend."

"Ron, kill it!" Harry was screaming, but Ron still couldn't move. The real Harry's voice sounded far away.

"We were better without you," the Horcrux Harry said. "Happier, without you."

"Who could love you compared to Harry Potter?" What are you compared to the Chosen one?" Horcrux Hermione asked. Even though she wasn't real, and Ron knew that somewhere in the back of his brain, he felt like a boulder had been dropped on his stomach.

"Your mother confessed she would have preferred me as a son." Horcrux Harry said.

"What woman would take you? You are nothing. Nothing, compared to him."

Ron finally managed to scramble away backwards from the Horcrux, but it hardly did any good.

That's when he heard the other voice. It was the real Harry, his best friend, the one he may have been jealous of, but considered practically a brother nonetheless.

"Ron, it's lying! Kill it!"

Shortly after, the fake Harry and Hermione were kissing ant that was the last straw. Ron didn't want to see any of it anymore. He got to his feet and ran forward, swinging the sword of Gryffindor over his head and finally bringing it down on the locket. The forest was brought into dead silence and Ron sank to the ground again.

Harry crawled over to him. "After you left," he said, "she cried for a week. Probably longer, only she didn't want me to see. There were loads of nights when we never even spoke to each other. With you gone…." He stopped and shook his head. "She's like my sister. I love her like a sister and she probably feels the same way about me. It's always been like that. I thought you knew."

Ron could only manage to nod. He had been so stupid for not realizing it before. He had let his feelings get in the way of his friendship with Harry. He had let the Horcrux get to him when he shouldn't have. It had really hit home now just what they were dealing with and how evil these things really were. He knew that now. He also knew he needed his friends and they needed him.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "The locket…it made everything worse. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I didn't want—Hermione, she—I-,"

"I know," Harry said. "And you kind of made up for leaving. What you did, just now…I would have been dead if you hadn't jumped in to save me."

Ron finally looked up and gave Harry a small smile. "We can't have that, now, can we?"

Harry smiled back and looked down. "Hermione's going to be a whole other challenge, you know. It won't be easy to get her to forgive you."

"I know," Ron said, standing up, "but I'll do whatever it takes."

Harry stood up as well and dusted off his pants. "What made you come back?"

"I wanted to as soon as I left, but I couldn't find you, so those protective charms work. Anyway, I ended up going to Bill and Fleur's. It was a good decision, too, because I needed some sense talked into me."

"So, you just went to Bill and Fleur's after you Disapparated? Or did you look around for us first?"

Ron paused. "Should I start at the beginning? The very beginning?"

"Yeah," Harry said, starting to walk back to the tent. "Start at the very beginning."

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><p><strong><em>Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!<em>**


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